Best Blonde Joke Ever?

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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
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Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
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The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
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Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh,
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"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[Dedicate to all my blonde friends.]

honey, i shrunk the cake.

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As an edible tribute to the last week of my summer children's class, I decided to make cupcakes! After all, history (err, elemetary school) has proven that cupcakes are practically synonymous with celebration. And by virtue of my love for the science of chemistry, I'm always eager to seek out and attempt a new baking recipe. Not only did my newly discovered recipe turn out to be suprisingly simple, the final product was almost too precious to eat. Allow me to explain.

R. a. i. n .b .o .w .....C .u .p .c .a .k .e .....R .e. c. i. p. e

.....1. make a box of white cake mix

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2. separate batter into little bowls

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3. armed with various food colors,

dye each invidual bowl a different

color of the rainbow

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..............4. stir with glee!

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5. spoon one color into lined cupcake pan,

and then another color, then another...

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6. bake the batch as instructed on the cake mix box

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7. allow cupcakes to cool to room temperature

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8. dollop the tops with fluffy white frosting

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9. and what's a cupcake without sprinkles?

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10. at this juncture,

if you haven't done so already,

graciously proceed to lick all utensils and bowls in eye sight.

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When you top these babies off with fluffy white frosting,

they begin to look like a Rainbow amidst the CLoUDs!

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note: these are NOT to be confused with "gay pride cupcakes," as previously referred to by a cheeky member of the family. FARAZ.

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yesterday.

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This summer my mom and I have valiantly undertaken the task of dusting, sorting, organizing, consolidating, labeling, boxing, and preserving all of the material remnants of me and Faraz's childhood. You name it, we've tackled it -- old pictures, baby clothes, arts and crafts from grades K-12, Baha'i school projects, home videos, dusty science fair posters, book reports, boxes upon boxes of Disneyland memorabilia, Halloween costumes, journals, paintings, picture frames (harboring enough glued-on macaroni to feed the Mediterranean), old baseball gloves, soccer jerseys, Tae Kwan Do belts, trophies, piano books, Brilliant Star magazines that pile up to the heavens, high school ceramic projects, homemade jewelry, homemade sock puppets, puff paint t-shirts, homemade gifts, old scrapbooks, shoe boxes upon shoe boxes filled with all sorts of nick nack patty wacks...

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...do you really want me to keep going? I didn't think so.

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So, in an effort to preserve these memories, I took pictures of just about everything. I could probably create an entirely new blog based on the colossal collection, but for the sake of simplicity (and also, not exploiting all of Faraz's nude baby photos), I'll stick to sharing just a few items.

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The following is a card that I made for Father's Day circa 1997 while [apparently] on a tight budget.

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Despite my initial satisfaction with the final product, I'm beginning to seriously question how touched my dad was upon receiving this.

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I would like to close by saying that very few memories and personal artifacts in this world bring me as much sorrow and remorse as the flowery faded maroon outfit featured above.

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note: just to shed some light on how much time has passed since the days of my childhood (or simply note the poor quality of the card stock I used), the original color of the background paper for this card was a deep blue. If you notice now in the first picture and also on the edges of the subsequent pages, the color has blanched into a weird yellow/green/olive color. Luckily, the same has not happened to me over the years.

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one [wo]man's spam is another [wo]man's treasure.

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I received the following message in my Gmail inbox this evening:



date: Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 9:32 PM
subject: Fwd: PLEEEEEASE REEAD! IT WAS ON GOODMORNINGAMERICATODAYSHOW ,DO IT!!!!
mailed by: yahoo.com
signed by: yahoo.com




Fwd: PLEEEEEASE REEAD! IT WAS ON GOODMORNINGAMERICATODAYSHOW ,DO IT!!!!


PLEEEEEASE REEAD! IT WAS ON GOODMORNINGAMERICATODAYSHOW ,DO IT!!!!
This was sent to me by my accountant... if you think this is ridiculous I have no problem giving you his contact information...
Read carefully...

THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USATODAY - IT IS FOR REAL


To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages,

But this is from my friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney. If she says that this will work - It will work. After all, what have you got to lose?


SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I'm an attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.




Dear Friends: Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later.



Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test


When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (If you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.



For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243..00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. With in two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.



Regards. Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations
1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX 292-1085



Thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and within days, I received a check for $24, 800.00. You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can afford this, Bill gates is the man.


It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00 We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game, she showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped 'Paid In Full'.




Get the MapQuest Toolbar. Directions, Traffic, Gas Prices & More!

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Is it wrong to report your mother as spam?
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i ♥ dogbert.

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Disclaimer: The thoughts and opinions expressed herein by Dilbert's anthromorphic pet dog creature thing do not necessarily reflect that of my own. Although, I do think this is hysterical.
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safeguarding the innocent.

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The Muslim Network for Bahá'í Rights recently released this video:






Images from this clip have been borrowed from Marjane Satrapi's feature production "Persepolis." If you have yet to see this film, I highly recommend it.


A suggested course of action in response to the recent injustices on the Iranian Bahá'í community can be found here. More information and news on the current situation of the Bahá'ís of Iran can be found here.

i win.

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So, if the blogging world were to conduct an Olympics of their own, I'm pretty sure I'd win the gold medal for the most infrequent blogger alive.
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In other news, last night after watching Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson, and Yilin Yang twirl and flip their little¹ hearts out, I attempted to do a cartwheel in my living room in front of my mom.


Let's just say that won't ever be happening again.
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¹ Shawn Johnson: 4 ft 9 in
...Yilin Yang: 4 ft 10 in
...Nastia Liukin: towering in at 5 ft 3 in
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